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“Grief is intensely personal and at the same time universal”

(Trigger warning: If you are going through bereavement or if you find discussion on grief overwhelming, you can give this post a miss.)

We have all met grief at some time or the other in our lives. Grief is a natural and emotional reaction to the loss of someone close to us like a family member or friend. It can also envelope us after a serious illness, divorce, financial loss or loss of job. Sometimes moving homes, cities, countries can also trigger grief. It often arrives unannounced and its stay is usually indefinite. As a result of it we feel angry, numb, guilty, shocked and an infinite sadness. It is a journey we all undertake but the pace at which we come out of it varies for each one.

My mother and my mother-in-law, both were widowed around the same time. (It was before I got married). But both dealt with grief differently. My mother would often talk about my father reminiscing about their time together. She missed him especially during happy occasions, smiling through her tears. On the other hand, my mother-in-law never liked talking about my father-in-law, keeping her grief private. It took her years to talk about him without being saddened. Both had their own way to cope with grief and one cannot say one way is better than the other.

Grief can be like a roller coaster, full of ups and downs, highs and lows. Like many roller coasters, the ride tends to be rougher in the beginning, the lows may be deeper and longer. But eventually one gets used to the ride.

It is often tough to talk about personal grief with our close ones, baring our heart to strangers is tougher. Yet, some people find talking to strangers about their grief cathartic for there is no censure or judgement.

Poets, of course, find poetry writing a medium to pour out their overwhelming emotions. There are innumerable poems about grief.

On losing a parent…

Making a Fist by Naomi Shihab Nye

“I who did not die, who am still living,

still lying in the backseat behind all my questions,

clenching and opening one small hand.”

On losing a child…

The Dying Child by John Clare

“When winter came and blasts did sigh,

         And bare were plain and tree,

As he for ease in bed did lie

         His soul seemed with the free,

         He died so quietly”

On regret…

A Daughter of Eve by Christina Rossetti

“Talk what you please of future spring

And sun-warm’d sweet to-morrow:—

Stripp’d bare of hope and everything,

No more to laugh, no more to sing,

I sit alone with sorrow.”

 On heartbreak…

Ebb by Edna St. Vincent May

“I know what my heart is like

      Since your love died:

It is like a hollow ledge

Holding a little pool

      Left there by the tide,

      A little tepid pool,

Drying inward from the edge.”

On war…

Facing It by Yusef Komunyakaa

“I said I wouldn’t 

dammit: No tears.  

I’m stone. I’m flesh.  

My clouded reflection eyes me”

Most times we do not know how to deal with the ensuing sadness. There are some people who hide behind the façade of ‘ life goes on’, there are others who are completely devastated. There is no right way or wrong way to deal with it. Some try to move on, some try to live around it and some live with it. And however clichéd it may sound, time does dull the pain of loss, even though the heart may continue to grieve.

After losing a loved one, you may always carry sadness and miss the person who has died. But most people are able to find meaning and experience pleasure again. Some people even find new wisdom and strength after loss. Here are some more poems for your perusal…

Talking to Grief by Denise Levertov

Ah, Grief, I should not treat you
like a homeless dog
who comes to the back door
for a crust, for a meatless bone.
I should trust you.

Separation by W.S. Merwin

Your absence has gone through me
Like thread through a needle.
Everything I do is stitched with its color.

The Window by Rumi

Your body is away from me
but there is a window open
from my heart to yours.

From this window, like the moon
I keep sending news secretly.

Grief is a Mouse by Emily Dickinson

Grief is a Mouse

And chooses Wainscot in the Breast

For His Shy House

And baffles quest

Grief is a Thief quick startled

Pricks His Ear report to hear

Of that Vast Dark

That swept His Being back.

…as well as these…Pieta by Rainer Maria Rilke, Grief by Elizabeth Barrett Browning and How Great my Grief was by Thomas Hardy

So, for today’s Poetics challenge, I would like you to write about grief (in general or personal). If that is something you don’t want to share, you can write about healing, dealing with loss or the general state of our world that brings grief to you.

  • If you are new to dVerse, please write a poem of any form, any length on your blog.
  • Link back your post to this post.
  • Also make sure to leave a link of your post at Mr.Linky below.
  • The link will be open till 2.00 pm,1st August.

Looking forward to your poems.