Tags
FormForAll, Framed Couplets, Free Verse, Gay Cannon, Hector Gutierrez, Meter, Poetic Forms, poetry, Rhyme
When I was asked to write my first article for OneStopPoetry, I contacted a poet I’ve known for a long time. His name is Hector Gutierrez and he is one of the noblest men I’ve ever known. He and I became acquainted in a writer’s workshop in the Dallas Ft.Worth area. After a period of time, the poets splintered from the main group because we wanted to be able to have copies to read as well as hear one another’s poems. This was not the format used for the fiction/non-fiction writers. Sometimes we were asked to read a particular poem to the larger group but usually we worked as a small unit.
While we were engaged in these exercises, Hector “invented” a form unlike any other I know. It’s called Framed Couplets and I thought it might be a good form to consider for this week’s exercise.
Hector explained it thus: “I have tried many experimental approaches to structure and rhyme. I have a few poems that I wrote in what I call the framed couplet, for lack of a better name. I began with a rhymed couplet in iambic pentameter, but I decided to rhyme the initial syllables as well as the ending syllables. To add emphasis to the initial rhyme, I decided that the initial syllable must be accented. So I ended up with nine syllables per line instead of ten. One can think of this as a four foot line of trochees ending in an added accented syllable, but I prefer to think of it as iambic pentameter missing the initial unaccented beat.
Part of the fun has been to try to “hide” the structure or the rhyme scheme, so that the poems read as though they’re free verse while still allowing me to work in the particular mode that works best for me. For one poem, I took a favorite line of verse from another poet and used it as a template for a new set of words. For example, “The Red Wheelbarrow“ by W. C. Williams“ starts with “So much depends / upon / the red wheel / barrow.” My line became “His mush descends / upon / the red tongued / sparrow.”
Hector’s poem “Minor Strain” is written in Framed Couplets:
MINOR STRAIN by Hector Gutierrez
Sinless child, your face turns back toward ten,
innocence bruised, strained by careless men.
Clothes that push you up toward twenty-one –
loathsome need in you; for them, brief fun.
Tension pushes, pulls, to fill a void
men’s abuse created; what’s destroyed
time can never . . . child, you must not tease.
I’m your friend, or would be. Stop! Don’t. Please.
Some of you may have read my offering today, but I will include it as it was my first attempt at this form. I did this to honor him (although it is not about the two of us. Hector is married to his childhood sweetheart who is worthy of his ardor and lifetime love.) I wrote it as fourteen lines, not thinking it would be a proper sonnet, but Hector admires sonnets over all other forms.
LAST TIME AROUND by Gay Reiser Cannon
You and I beneath a willow tree
true to youth’s impassioned goals. Now three
decades summon that lost world again –
decadence and lust spent with my friend.
Dreams of such rich trust and such deep fears,
schemes we boldly etched through dusty years.
You and I once rode a carousel
through our passing rites. Hearing the bell –
its demand to, “Reach the ring of gold!”
split the shafts of time and light. They told
lies of love and hope and future’s bright
skies, before our lives could delve the night.
You and I must seize this fleeting chance
to resume the music and the dance.
I believe working on this form is challenging but rewarding. The poem can be of any length, but the goal is to adhere to the form without having the form itself intrude on the work. So give it a try. It can be as short or as long as you choose to make it and you are free to format it any way you wish. I’m looking forward to seeing what you write. And I want to thank you for participating. This week it’s particularly gratifying for me.
Welcome to the pub today – it’s springtime, and hope not such a busy day for you. Light refreshments are near the bar and cool beverages are on tap. The windows are open, birds are singing and we’re waiting to read one another’s creations. I think you’ll find the challenge interesting and stimulating. We have a thesaurus and dictionary on hand. though, just in case!
Hiya Gay,
lovely picture of the round-about: you reached for the ring/bell and reached it with your poem.
A shorty from me, but it may grow during the evening.
Gay, I come from Binghamton, NY, which has five working carousels, and you don’t have to pay a dime. The philanthropist, George F. Johnson, built them and said no one should have to pay for a ride (he was dirt poor as a child), but we do “pay” by dumping found trash from the parks into the waste/recycling bins. Thanks for the trip home… Brass rings to you, my dear. Amy
that is really cool amy…we need more people willing to do that…
Oh Amy I spent a week in Binghamton – long long ago. Pity I couldn’t have ridden on the carousels; but it was dead of winter and several feet of snow. I had a new baby boy. The snow storm came on our way up there. My husband was consulting for a company there, and we planned to take some day trips around NY; unfortunately we mostly saw downtown and the hotel. Maybe I can come again in summer. So happy you shared that with us today!
By the way (I did put a caption on that picture but for some reason it didn’t post) the picture of the carousel is mine that I shot in Florence, Italy which was a dream come true. I’d go back there anytime. Tuscany is as gorgeous as all the books say. Golden light!
just thought i’d pop in for a moment…still sick.. so no framed couplets for me today…but wishing you all lots of fun with the challenge….and enjoyed your carousel poem gay..
Oh Claudia – I’m sorry you’re sick. Get well soon. I’ll miss you this time but certainly can understand. Oh my goodness, I don’t know how you do all you do. You’re such a dynamo…and even dynamos need their rest!
Hope you continue to feel better!
Claudia, rest, heal, and enjoy a moment’s peace, even though it comes from illness. I can’t BELIEVE I actually came up with an answer to a form prompt. I know you will be proud… Peace, Amy
My showing got cancelled! Can I get a hell ya! (Sorry…really was NOT looking forward to missing rhyme play!) So I am here and I am ready to learn! Gay, blessings to you for all you do for us!!! I’ve learned so much from these articles…and I value it all tremendously!!!
Oh thank you Tash. I’m so happy to know you. Claudia is not the only one with unstinting energy. Your love of poetry and the growth you’ve made as a poet in the time I’ve known and been reading your work is astounding! I appreciate more than I can say how much you do for this site, and to promote poetry everywhere. If I have been in any way helpful, I am gratified.
Ditto- this is my weekly education!
Tashtoo, I haven’t been on your site, but HELL YEAH I’m going now! (wink) Amy
Gay, i’m not with your about the first syllables
Help
Love, love, love this form and want to give it a try, but more than likely it will be for OLN as it is a busy day for me. However, last night’s insomnia did allow me to write a poem in a somewhat loose sonnet form, so I will post it–along with the free form I started out with. Thank you, Gay and Hector, for taking us on a new poetic adventure. I’ll be back later to deliver as promised.
That’s fine Victoria – I’ll be sure to read what you have today & on OLN too.
Interesting form. I gave it a shot, it was fun to work with.
Loved this challenge- was struggling to write today- this was just perfect vehicle! Hope I got it right? Great article as well Gay 🙂
Love the form, and love your poem, Gay, but don’t know if I’ll have time to work on one in this style. I’m kind of a free-lance kinda guy, and if I got to use my brain, it messes me up.
I will come back and read some of the other entries though, because I really do like the way the form reads.
You know Charles this has special rewards for free verse types (but I have to admit it does take elbow grease)!
I am a free verse poet most of the time, but something called to me on this prompt and I actually found the right words and pretty much rhythm, so thanks! It was well worth the effort. Charles, try again. You’ll be surprised! Amy
Thanks for this, Gay. This is similar to the poem I’ve created. I bet you’ll never guess what teens can do with duct tape.
oops… I meant it’s close to the FORM I’ve created…
I have revised my first posting, if anyone’s interested.
Teens and duct tape. As long as they are not substituting for birth control of any sort, they should be safe. Couple of kids in Riley’s class came to prom in matching duct tape outfits, very creative! See you on your blog! Amy
very cool form gay….will work on one this evening and see what i can come up with…played with it a bit this afternoon but it is not coming together quite yet….
Thanks Brian – looking forward to it. You’re always so much better with forms than you think you are!
ok, its in your inbox…let me know what you think…smiles.
Gay, thank you for the excellent article on and examples of Framed Couplets. I was out most of the day but was excited to use the form to make a statement. This poem wouldn’t have found its feet without the form so again I am grateful for your gift.
Great article! Thank you so much, i thoroughly enjoyed. I attempted my best!! haha I coupled this with my submission for Prompt Thursday over at http://misfitian.blogspot.com/ I hope you enjoy!!!
Just wrote one. Hopefully will be published and linked soon.
Thanks very much, Gay. I enjoyed your verse and found that form very interesting. I even gave it a try with these two poems. However, since I’m not a free verse kinda gal, I made no attempt to disguise it as free verse. 🙂
Interesting structure & results, from both of ya’ll – thanks! 😉
and i think it’s amazing what ya’ll have done with the form, very creative; not something i think i can do right now
esp liked gay pointing out how “free verse” reading hector’s work is, and then including some great examples of just that!
nice nice work you guys 😉 best wishes all around
I love a challenege and a new form is always that. I hope my effort does it justice.
Toodle Pip
Thanks for the info on the form Gay. I am reading your inputs so I can get the form correctly. I have to compose couplets that rhyme at the start, and at the end, correct? Will try this ~
Actually I remember the first one I wrote, I thought that too, that the whole first word was supposed to rhyme. But no. ONLY THE FIRST SYLLABLE at the first of the line has to rhyme and then you’re free to go anywhere. e.g. “Free Form”….etc; next line could start with “Tree Roots” or “Person’s” on Line a could follow with “Her purse” on Line b.
Thanks for hosting Form For All Gay. Great write-up, both entertaining and educational. and the form was a bit tough for me, the opening rhyme I found I had to keep sacrificing some nice words or changing the one in the previous line, but those types of constraint are worth it. Fun piece. thanks
That happened to me too. See note above. Everyone SHOULD READ THE NOTE I LEFT Grace. I should have emphasized it more in the article. ONLY THE FIRST SYLLABLE at the first of the ines has to rhyme.
Hi Gay–it took me a while to realize the frontal rhyme even though you were very clear about it, but it’s quite subtle in the poems. (They are lovely by the way–amazingly not sing-songy. Perhaps because of the 9 syllables.) So I’ve tried now–mine is quite sing-songy, but since that goes with the subject matter, I perhaps have an excuse! Thanks much for the challenge (and others.) It is wonderful to get out of one’s rut. K.
alright i made it back and got mine up…its perhaps a bit modern take…smiles…grabbing henry’s then off to bed…up way too late but enjoyed all your verses…
I thoroughly enjoyed this form, ones guided by Beachanny!!
Want to thank you from bottom of my heart. This format is beautiful, i believe, choosing 9 syllables each line actually makes the whole thing more rhythmic. I definitely would love to write this format more often in future. Thank you for introducing this to us. D’verse simply rocks!!!! This is definitely a place where I find my soul and satisfaction completely!! Love you all talented people/poets. You have no idea how much you all inspire me into me as a being! I might make mistakes some really terrible one but I’m here to learn. Thank you for teaching me. I find my home away from home here.. I have been travelling a lot lately, hence not able to comment all the poems entry, but I shall do it one I get some ample of good time!
Love always!!
~Keep the Spark ALive..
Well it’s 12:34 and the day has run out of the hour glass. I am so glad to see so many of you have taken up the challenge. I’m really proud of all of you that I’ve read so far. Each poem has been really special. Thank you. Several more have been added lately and I’ll read them tomorrow. Great work you guys!
What an excellent, excellent form from Hector, and thanks to Gay for a wonderful introduction! I love structure, especially when it can be hidden as free verse, because then it becomes a secret between myself and my muse.
It’s been a busy week for me, so I’m not sure I can work up my own poem, but I’m certainly eager to find out what others have been able to do!
good morning all…got my coffee and about to check out the overnights….happy friday to each of you…the weekend is almost upon us…woohoo!
A very interesting form, Gay–thanks for hosting and introducing us to it–I’ve tried my hand at it, but as always, I’m not willing to bet the farm that my iambic pentatameter is the same as the *real* iambic pentameter. ;_)
meter is a tool of suppression any way hedge…hehe….
Haha – I’ve been mentioning that – after I talk about it “ad nauseum”.
smiles….i had to get my dig in you know…
I’m up and reading. So many great poem. Thank all of you again for the great work you’ve done on this challenge. Amazing really!
there have been some really good ones….and i appreciate your diligence as well in getting around to everyone gay…have done the same as well and appreciate those that are out there making community with each other as well….
Me, too. I have one to more to read.
Really loved how many participated in this form. Certainly not an easy one. It calls on all the prosody skills and is made better with the metaphoric ones, too! Wow, great job everyone!!
I, too, want to thank everyone who stopped by and commented on other poets work. It’s always appreciated and we know it takes the time you generously volunteer!
Whew. I came. I tried. I cried. (Only a little.)
Still not sure I got the “accents” right. Stress/unstress tend to stress me out.
But this is a stunning form, and I had fun trying my hand at it.
Thank you!
I love ‘Minor Strain’ by Hector Gutierrez. Such a fiendish form to master and does not come naturally to me so I used Hector’s as a model. Thank you for the challenge.
I ‘m afraid my picture will never be framed in couplets:)
I’ve read all the poems so far, and they’ve been great, especially when measured by the yardstick of the form. The framed couplet structure has turned out to be fiendishly difficult, though simple at the surface. I’ve tried long and hard, and have not succeeded at all – so I am all the more impressed by the number who tried and succeeded.
You’ll be pleased to hear that the Washington Post linked this post here: framed couplets contest.
Sorry, I screwed up the link. Let me try again. You’ll be pleased to hear that the Washington Post linked this post here: framed couplets contest.
Thank you so much for finding, sharing & forwarding this information. I sent the link to Hector. I hope it pleases him. He is an especially noble person. He never sought much recognition and writes for himself mainly and his family.
You’re very welcome!