Tags
Action verbs, Brian Miller, Hilary, Hyperdetailing, picture prompt, poetics, Present tense, WordCraft
‘I tell my wife, I don’t care about the details, I just want to show up,’ he says from the front of the class.
The students laugh, even those that understand the statement in relation to the review we are completing in preparation for the test new week. They’ll have to do more than show up to pass.
The hand on the clock falls again in the hollow space between statements. Twenty three minutes left. On his shoulder a smudge of grey white chalk. Papers rustle, a pencil claps on the desk top.
Clearing his throat, my co-teacher starts again.
Perhaps you have heard the phrase, ‘the devil is in the details’ in relation to taking care of the little things so they dont become big issues. There is also life in the details when it comes to writing.
Last week, Fred focused us on using first person voice and in the comments I suggested a book titled Make a Scene and how I felt it had helped me in learning to write in such a way as to engage my audience. A few other things I have gleaned in learning write and honing my craft are to use action verbs & write in present tense. This allows the audience to experience the moment and not just read about what happened.
What I want to focus on today though is detail, particularly descriptive detail. Detail allows you to build a scene and also set the mood fo what is happening. When we can let the reader smell, see and taste the moment—they can then live in that moment. Detail allows you to build a character. We can see them when the details are given vividly and in creative ways.
In my poem for Victoria’s prompt this week, I wrote of a boy from school and described his splayed hands as ‘fingers raygunned.’ Pairing the familiar and the unusual causes the reader to see things in new ways.
When I am building a scene, I try to focus not just on what you would usually find in a scene, but what is unusual. What is out of place. What are peripheral people in the scene doing. Today I want you to focus on detail in your poem. Make a person, a place, a scene come alive to us today. Touch all the senses. Hyperdetail and write in technicolor 3D HD…smiles. Put me in that moment.
I have included a few pictures by a friend, Hilary, who is a photographer as well. These are macro shots, really zoomed in where you may not be able to tell the whole. Feel free to pick one of them to write about.
Or maybe you want to even write about a time you did or did not focus on the details and how that worked out for you. Lots of choice there.
If you are new here:
- Write a poem to one of the themes for the day and post it to your webpage.
- Click on the Mr. Linky below and enter the direct URL to your webpage as well as your name.
- This is also where you will find others who have taken up the challenge. Read them. Tell them what you liked, how the poem moved you, something they did good. Interact. Learn. Grow.
- Tweet. Facebook. Whatever your social media. Invite others to have fun too. Retweet.
- Have fun with it. We are all figuring this thing out and none of us are perfect, so try, fail, succeed—whatever, have fun.
welcome to Poetics poets….will be around if you need anything jsut ask…otherwise, enjoy…smiles
off and writing…be back soon! Love the the macro’s…but I feel as though my piece is already written 😉 Stay tuned!
woot…look forward to it…and i liked your response this morning to the massacre here in the states as well tash…
happy saturday everyone… naturally i’m not so much into details, i tend to see the bigger picture and overlook the small things…you won’t believe it… when i was in california, my husband bought a new car and it took me three days until i realized it (it was the same color like the old car though..so…smiles)
so…this was a good exercise for me…thanks bri…and thanks hilary for the wonderful pics as well…esp. love the cucumber pod..
i have a hard time believing that considering the way you write…smiles…pretty funny on the car though…ha…
the cucumber pod is really cool…may do a second piece tomorrow just to use it…it was the first that caught my eye the other day…hilary is good peeps too…been reading her for like 3 years…
yeah i know it’s kinda weird…smiles…looking forward to reading your piece tomorrow..
I relate to that, Claudia. Love detail in writing but could trip over a body in the living room. It’s tne thing my husband “scolds” me for.
haha…’scolds you’…smiles.
Thanks for the prompt. I have built up poem from a detail. This is an actual image from my personal past. It’s the third major revision of a poem I first wrote in 2007-8 so can’t be accursed of rushing into print!
cool piece john..pretty cool too that this one has stuck with you as well and keeps coming round for revision with you…
Making supper, back in a bit …
yeah? making any thing good…and is that an invitation to join you? smiles…
hmmm… details… let’s see. off to swing the quill!
woot…how cool would it be to still write with quills….ok maybe not as easy as flicking the Bic but…
oh it would, wouldn’t it!
when i was little, my mother gave a small inkpot and cut a huge feather just right because i wanted to ‘write like the old guys in the movies’. i made a huge mess practicing my “A’s” and “E’s”, but it was such fun.
nice..that would be so cool…had a desk back in the day that still had the flat circle of the inkpot to sit on…about as close as i came…
never too late to try 😉
finished. now off to prepare a (late dinner) – looking forward to reading!
all this dinner talk is making me hungry…its just me and the boys right now…i might have to start thinking of getting cooking myself….
Today, there was a wrestling match between idea and poem, and stanzas tussled with each other, words & phrases cried out to be relocated, and then when sufficiently blue penciled and put mostly onto my site, I encountered a coughing fit while trying to recite and record the piece, but no worries, for the poem emerged whole and shining, as if it had stepped out freshly scrubbed, waxed, polished, and passionate.
glad you did not choke on those words when you started coughing sir…smiles…and yep found two comic book characters in there today…smiles.
To write in details is something I have to do consciously ~ Thanks for the writing tips Brian, I have linked up a poem about my office cubicle..~
Happy weekend to everyone ~
that was pretty cool grace.. loved the industrial carpet color closure
nicely done grace….really liked your first turn…and then that closure def worked for me…smiles.
Thanks Claudia and Brian ~ Smiles ~
Home made spaghetti and yes, Chloe and he girl friend say… it’s good. You (and so many others at this pub) would be more than welcome to sit at our table Brian. 🙂
wouldn’t that be awesome…
that would be very cool…and glad they enjoyed it…ha and i am def down with spaghetti
I am a lover of detail, so much so that I have to go through my poems with Tippex to eliminate a plethora of minutiae that would bore any reader to catatonia. I will have a go at a new one, with the idea of leaving some detail in…..Be warned…
haha i cant wait viv!!! leave me some detail for sure and stay the editing pen….
Heavy heart today…not sure it’s my best, but here goes.
brought tears to my eyes..
wow, def an emotional piece….i wonder at those that will take their kids to school monday how hard it will be to leave…
Hi Jennifer, check your spam. I think my response is in there. Sigh! I don’t know how / why this so often happens.
Fun prompt Brian. I often try to include details in my writing but sometimes I need a reminder! Thanks.
ah you really captured the character well peggy….touching the senses but also touching the heart as well…
Oh I love this prompt, Brian, but like I told you in a comment on your poem, I’ll probably have to post Tuesday. My laptop is in for repair and this desktop in prehistoric AND certainly not ergonomic. Thank heavens this didn’t happen before I finished comments for MTB! I love those photos!
they are cool…hilary has a great eye….
sorry on the laptop…i cant stand computer issues….
Hi Brian, thought I would give it a try after reading your interesting and captivating introduction. Don’t know if I managed but linked in anyways. Smiles.
I like this prompt, as I get older I find the details of even simple things beautiful.
i will be back in a bit…at the doctor with my boy right now and cant pull up your posts….may be late but i will come by…smiles.
i am back…the flu….both of my boys have it…ack….we will survive though…
I like this prompt because as I get older mine eyes are drawn to the details of simple things and I find that they are not so simple. http://blueridgemountainboy.blogspot.com/2012/12/native-lamentation.html
yours was very cool duane…just finished talking about native americans in history…the trail of tears and all…moving piece and great capture of them…
I’m just a stream-of-consciousness type, and though I revise constantly, it may not seem so to passersby. I value the essay you prepared with such insight into your own very Shakespearean style. Only he–and a few like August Wilson–give the layers of class and supernatural that I find in your poems (at least in the literature I know best, which is drama).
smiles….i might have to frame that and put it on my wall susan…smiles…
This is such an informative article, brian. You are always so good at detail and putting the reader right there in the poem. I have another detailed poem floating around in my head after a fun-filled day with the family. Thanks for keeping the doors open…
cool, write it and bring it tomorrow….i am working on one this evening as well…as after the one today i told hilary i would try a little happier one with one of the pictures….smiles.
hey how did graduation go?
Got a bit retro in my details here – the details are remembered, but thankfully the character described is from fiction!
ha i enjoyed yours…made me think of the dealer that used to come to the bank and talk to the secretaries…
Good article today, Brian, and a good reminder to stress details. You do this in such an interesting way, you know!! Details really DO make a poem come alive!!
thank you mary…i wrote short story well before i wrote poetry so its pretty natural to me…poetry is just another way of storytelling to me…
I’m not sure how this works but I’m glad to know that some of you are enjoying my photos.
Very cool prompt, Brian. I am a bit beyond the beyond at the moment and not sure what I can do. But I loved yours and Claudia’s. Thanks. k.
i hear you k…keep you in my thoughts…
It was fun to hear you [Brian] discuss some of your poetry process — thanks for sharing. After all day at a swimming tournament, my muses are not awake. Being an idea person, more than a detail person, this is also unattractive challenge — and thus, probably one I should do for sure!
I will read a few of the posted poems before sleeping to see if it stirs my inner voices to dream images for me.
Thanx for this post, Brian.
ha. i hope you do…not a huge fan of writing form, so i force myself to do it every once in a while as well…who do you have swimming?
sleep well…we’ll be open all day tomorrow…
Thanx. My son swam (daughter decorated and made cookies with Mom). I thought of writing about the pool. Tis morning and nothing stirring in my head.
I find listening to long detailed stories without obvious points tedious, and listening to someone’s dream, even more irritating. And my job is to sort through all the details and look for patterns and not be distracted by unnecessary possible distractions.
Yet, my mystical side revels in the details — but the sort of glimmer into non-details at that time. Anyway, I will try to write something over the next hour or two.
Have a great day, Brian.
I reviewed photos I took last week and I saw one I took because of the details that filled my memory and conflicted and competed with my image and values.
Doing this made me realize that I think and feel in much detail but sometimes I don’t feel like sharing them because I don’t want to bore the listener.
Oooops, so I posted my poem: http://yuanfields.wordpress.com/2012/12/16/asian-memories-fill-my-hospital-rounds/
grabbed sherry’s to read…and then heading to bed…be back in the morning for the overnights….enjoy poets…see you manana
smiles..sleep well… sherry’s made me wanna move to the country side and bake christmas cookies for the rest of my life…smiles
I think I’m not so great with details but I sure admire that talent in others. It’s something I would like to cultivate. I tried today…when writing on “yesterday”. Thanks for you, Brian!
isn’t it sad in a way that we all know what you mean with “yesterday” ugh.. heard more details in the news this morning and it just terrifies me..
Sorry folks, I put the wrong link. It should be the second one.
Interesting prompt, this. Thanks for.
thanks dave…as ever you bring us an enchanting piece…
..an interesting Poetics Brian…i specially like the image of oil in the pan… excellent shot by Hillary… sadly, i’ll have to pass this one… my Mum & sister came to my apartment last night and i spent the whole day with ’em & Dad as ’twas rare to happen… ’tis 6 pm now and we’re here at a local mall waiting for the fireworks display before we go for dinner… to ease the boredom in waiting i decided to drop by here to how’s evrything goin’… maybe i’ll go some reads ’til the fireworks display start… smiles…
nice….what are the fireworks for?
i don’t know why i always seem to write poems for dVerse in the middle of the night. {smile} it’s almost 3:30am and i am bleary-eyed so off to try to sleep. i promise i’ll be back to visit on Sunday.
♥
middle of the night works for me….smiles…
just waking up…probably the latest i have slept in …in like forever…ha…getting coffee and will be heading around….
Details are importants, but I decided to go a little wide on this challenge, and wrote a limerick on a particular detail. 🙂
Details are important I meant of course.
And Brian chastized you for lack of detail — several points on your license! But ’twas a fun limerick indeed!
ha i think the signifigant other may be the one that chastises those lack of details….having two boys myself we battle that one often…smiles.
My wife gave up on that battle
i’m back…forgot time over playing nine men’s morris with my daughter after lunch…smiles…ha…was fun…now catching up…
what is nine men’s morris?
ha that is fun.. i have this name from the translator.. we call it Mühle which means Mills …each player has 9 mill stones and tries to form mills of three / then you open and close them and so get the stones of your counter player…
ok i will have to look this up…ha…i love games so…
Hi Brian – great prompt. Able to think of something this morning. Have my computer now which makes a big difference! Mobile devices are handy but really not the same! Traveling today by car back to NYC from DC so maybe slow to comment back. K.
PS – thanks as always for your kindness. k.
woot….glad you have the computer back….that is great…not a bad drive either…done it a few times…would love to make it back to both places soon….
Details, details… tedious details. 🙂 They were my Achille’s Heel when I had a career a long time ago. Why should a lawyer bother with details after all? 😉 🙂
ha….not many details in the law…smiles.
not too many, just a few – enough to make one win or lose a case or have a paperwork decline. 🙂 😉
super nice prompt brian, esp like the examples from recent prompts and the photos to enhance your commentary – first person present tense has always been a fav of mine, though haven’t used it in any current fiction, just some of the poetry
i did, ’bout 30 years ago, i wrote a short novel for a creative writing thesis, and wrote it in first person present; the thesis committee asked me to re-write it 3rd person, which i did, and expanded it over a hundred pages as a result; they ended saying they liked my original first person present tense work best, sharper, more urgent
anyway; sheila and i are glad to be back in texas (after being up 25+ hours and arrivng at our daughters last night ’bout 10pm)
best wishes you guys, hope to catch some prompts early next year, but will stay in the loop reading and commenting (my christmas gift to myself) 😉 take care 😉
welcome back to the states sir….hope you get some sleep or at least catch up on some….interesting they asked you to rewrite it but then liked it better …ha…good to see you sir…
thanks, good to be back, we’ve been up about 12 hours now after about 9 of sleep, and we can already feel we’ll be going to bed early tonight 😉
hey…nice to hear that you made it back home safely..
definitely, thanks so much claudia; meeting you was a highlight for us 😉 i’ll be on blog-cation through mid-jan, but still visiting dverse and its poets 😉