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ghazal, Ghazal Sonnet, Hafiz, Rumi, Samuel Peralta, Semaphore, sonnet
Samuel Peralta here…
If you were here a few nights ago on Open Link Night, you may have happened to glance at my poem, “And You As Well Beloved”.
It was a hint! And if you caught it, you got a head start into what we were doing tonight – ghazals and the ghazal sonnet.
If you didn’t catch the poem, here it is in its present form (I may well still edit this):
AND YOU AS WELL BELOVED
Samuel Peralta
Moonlight cast its perfumed spell, beloved,
Down on me – and you as well, beloved.
Unworthy, I beheld you, veiled; but O
The heavens parted, and I fell, beloved.
I would sweep across the desert rampart
To your side, this thirst to quell, beloved.
I would bind myself to sanctuary
In your arms, embrace this cell, beloved.
God sever this cursed tongue and stitch these lips,
Should I ever say farewell, beloved.
But if that God should turn his back on you –
I would be your infidel, beloved.
For all my soul desires is to be yours,
Your supplicant, your Samuel, beloved.
—–
Ghazals are beautiful poems, originating in Arabic verse from the sixth century, written traditionally about poetically physical or spiritual love, with a melancholic air of separation or longing.
Made famous in the Western world by the modern translations of works by Rumi and Hafiz, these translations unfortunately have been the source of much confusion over what a ghazal is.
Classic ghazals have a strict form and structure – similar to a Petrarchan sonnet. In trying to be faithful to the ancient poet’s words and expression, translators had to forego the structural framework of the classical ghazal in English.
Imagine trying to translate Shakespeare’s sonnets into Greek, or German, while keeping the iambic pentameter and strict rhyme scheme – difficult, if not impossible!
The valiant efforts led to modern English poems – written in free verse couplets, or even tercets or quatrains, unrhymed, without any semblance of the originally-intended structure – being labelled as ghazals.
When I set out to write a ghazal, I didn’t want that. I wanted to write a classic ghazal.
Though daunting at first, it’s not as difficult as it might seem – and the results can be extraordinary.
Let me explain – and it’s best to use an existing poem as a guide. Let’s use mine, “And You As Well Beloved”.
A ghazal is a collection of two-line poems or couplets (shers) which follow six rules.
First – Each verse or couplet should be readable as an independent poem, which do not have to rely on the other verses, though the full ghazal has a theme – traditionally romantic or spiritual love and longing.
Second – Each line of the couplets must have the same meter (beher). All the lines in one ghazal must have the same meter – pentameter, in my example.
Third – All of the couplet verses must end with the same refrain, which could be a word or a phrase (radif). I used the word “beloved” as my refrain.
Fourth – The words before the refrain phrase must rhyme (kaafiyaa). In my poem, I use words with the end-rhyme – “-el”.
Fifth – The beginning couplet (matla) must repeat the refrain word or phrase (radif) in both lines; hence the repeated “beloved” / “beloved” in my opening verse.
Sixth – The final couplet (maqta) must reference the poet’s name, or alias (takhallus), and sometimes a derivation of the meaning of the poet’s name. This was a traditional way for the poet to sign, or to affix his mark upon, his work.
I was originally going to use “Semaphore” – my poetic nom de guerre – but then hit on the idea of using the “-el” in “Samuel” as the basis for my rhymed words before the “beloved” refrain. Aha! Two birds with one stone.
To quote Abhay Avachat – a poet in Urdu – “Ghazal is a collection of ‘shers’, in which there is at least one ‘matla’, one ‘maqta’ and all the ‘shers’ are of same ‘beher’ and have the same ‘kaafiyaa’ and ‘radif’.”
That’s it!
In writing “And You As Well Beloved”, I found that one key to unlocking the structure of the ghazal in English is to first settle on a refrain word or phrase that will help reinforce your theme or atmosphere:
– “beloved”
– “in the night”
– “my friend”
The next step is to work out out an end-rhyme for the words before the refrain:
– “-el”
– “-all”
– “-at”
This then helps create your couplets’ rhyme-refrain scheme, its kaafiyaa-radif:
– “spell beloved” / “well beloved” / “fell beloved”
– “call in the night” / “fall in the night” / “wall in the night”
– “cat my friend” / “Pat my friend” / “Hatt my friend”
That structure anchors your poem.
In terms of length, ghazals traditionally have at least five couplets and can extend to fifteen, twenty couplets or more.
In my poem, I decided to restrict that length to seven couplets (fourteen lines) and to use pentameter. I call this form a “ghazal sonnet”.
While a few others may have used the term “ghazal sonnet” previously, I believe this is the first time anyone has ever married the classic ghazal structure with a traditional fourteen-line pentameter sonnet structure to construct a new form – a new form with traditional underpinnings.
This makes me happy.
Tonight, in the tradition of the great Persian writers, and the spirit of the Renaissance, I invite you to contribute a ghazal sonnet – or a classic ghazal, if that’s more to your liking – as I’ve laid it out here.
Please don’t forget to take in the poems of your comrades-in-writing and leave them a note to say you’ve been there…
…A follower in the footsteps of Rumi.
—–
Samuel Peralta – on Twitter as @Semaphore – is the author of five titles in The Semaphore Collection – Sonata Vampirica, Sonnets from the Labrador, How More Beautiful You Are, Tango Desolado and War and Ablution – all #1 on the Amazon Kindle List of Hot New Releases in Poetry on their debut.
Read a recent interview with the author and his thoughts on writing poetry on Combustus magazine’s “Samuel Peralta: The Physics of Poetry”
Copyright (c) Samuel Peralta. All rights reserved.
Images public domain / via WikiMedia Commons or as attributed.
Thanks for making me smile… had some dental work done, so was in dire need for it. I appreciate the outlining of your creative process here, too, Samuel.
hope you are feeling ok after that dental work laurie…
thanks, Brian.
…finally wrote something… in the sky =)
ok poets…if laurie can write one after a root canal…anyone can write one…just saying…
it took me all afternoon, though…
Good for you! Can’t wait to see this!
Laurie, I am in awe that you would try this after dental work! …So glad it made you smile!
I came up with 13 couplets, and I think I followed the guidelines; but my last couplet contains just “I” as a reference to me as author–kind of dropped the pen on that one. When you break it down to chosen refrain, and list up the rhyming words, one gets a sense of the piece; then you find your hook, somehow connected to love &/or the divine, and you are off to ghazalburg.
Thirteen couplets is quite a feat! With that kind of fortitude, somehow I’m sure we can overlook the perhaps-too-subtle reference of the author in the final couplet.
And yes, I found that when you have the refrain and rhyming words, the couplets begin to leap out at you, you only have to be ready to catch the inspiration.
Samuel–what a beautiful thing you have crafted here! I might attempt this, might not, but oh, what a gorgeous form you have created, and your poem sings. Lovely.
The ghazal form, with its refrain and internal rhymes, make it easy to make the verses sing. Susan, thanks for your kind words, and I hope you do attempt this!
Maybe not quite the first… 😉
Walking Meditation
For Gertrude
Running Water Ghazal
With varying success. I suppose no one of them exactly meets all the aspects of the ghazal and the sonnet at once (so I will still be writing another; woo!), but I tend to find the iambic pentameter always creeping in to my ghazals anyway. It makes for a good couplet rhythm on its own, and in the same ways that the sonnet can be restrictive (yet breed freedom), in sound and structure, so can the ghazal.
I knew other people have tried to formulate a sonnet-ghazal hybrid!
But I did say that this was the first time the offered form called for a strict adherence to both traditional ghazal and traditional sonnet formalisms. 😉
I was going to add a Petrarchan-like rhyme scheme to the first lines of each couplet, but it proved to be a really awkward scheme – so I dropped that. The rules I settled on provided a mid-ground between formalism and flexibility.
By the way, I really like those ghazals, especially the last one. That one came closest to the classic ghazal formalism.
Well, I just posted another attempt that came even closer… but I couldn’t resist messing with the refrain syllabification just a teeny bit. ^~^ Thematically, it’s rather a jumble.
Your poem is beautiful.
This new lesson is challenging. Thanks for laying out the form.
Thank you for dropping by to read, and for the kind words! Hope you find time to try your hand at it.
Fantastic article Sam…and a form I know! 😀 Perhaps I should say “am familiar with”… will try to make it back before the crowd dies down to much!
So beautifully presented, Sam.
Loved the way you used the refrain letters.
This is so delicious, I couldn’t resist.
aprille, good to see you…glad you did not resist…smiles.
Aprille – I’m sure that what you come up with will be equally delicious 🙂
Natasha, thanks so much! An acquaintance with the ghazal form – even in the modern English versions – will definitely help here. Looking forward to seeing what you might come up with!
nice sam…i gave it a try…i actually never got around to it when we did this form back in 2011….of course i put my little spin on it as well…smiles…mine is a bit more modern allowing the refrain to move around a bit…smiles…
I did have a peek at yours, Brian, and yes you did manage to put your own spin on this! I can never really pin you down, can I? Well… that’s the beauty of poetry, isn’t it?
ha. i am not one for pinning down either…smiles….
I appreciate how much work it must be to make a clear presentation as this is on writing the Ghazals and the Ghazal Sonnet.
It will take me more than the allotted time for posting to absorb all of this….when I saw the title of the post, I thought “oh, no, not again !” …
but your instructions make writing a ghazal sonnet feasible for me given time to ponder and let it all sink in.
Thank you very much for this post.
Peace,
Siggi in Downeast Maine
no sweat…if it takes you more time you can always drop it into OpenLinkNight on Tuesday…
Thank you – I do put a lot of work in the articles, and do my best to make things clear, I go through maybe a half-dozen major revisions. So – thanks, I’m so glad you appreciated it!
this is a very interesting form sam and really loved your ghazal, cool on making it even more personal by including your name in the closure…
due to my copenhagen trip, won’t be able to play this week but thought i’d sneak in to wish you all lots of fun…smiles
I know you’ll be in Copenhagen, Claudia, and I’ll miss your take on the ghazal or ghazal sonnet, as I know – like Brian – you’d have put an amazing spin on it as well. So glad to see you here, though! 🙂
Sam, a very interesting form. I will be working on one in the next several hours. I am sure it won’t be as good as yours, but I will give the form a try. Thanks for your article and explanation!
Mary – “good” is relative, but thank you so much for the kind words. It’s a wonderful form to work in, it challenged me for a bit until I found my way in, as I described above.
What a challenging form, I struggled with all the meters and rules, but broke the last couplet ~ I was flamed out ~ Thanks for the interesting form and post Sam ~
Grace
Grace, flaming out is allowed after a valiant effort! It took me a while to get mine right, the ease is just an illusion. 😉
Just back home from one poetry class to find another waiting for me here – and with such a good teacher too. As it’s late over here, I’ll play with this in the morning.
Looking forward to checking out what you make of the ghazal, Tony, thanks for stopping by!
I love this new form! I’ve identified my refrain word as well as my rhyme scheme and words. I have in mind nine couplets, but I won’t have time to put it all together until later today. I’ll be back! Peace, Linda
Linda, that will be amazing! Be back soon!
I saw Ghazal and smiled thinking this was going to be easy-peasey, but no! I’ve done ghazals before, alas, only in modern English, free-verse style. I’m looking forward to giving the more traditional form a whirl. Thanks Samuel.
Ah, if you have tried your hand at the free-verse style, you already know the state of mind you have to be in in order to attempt the traditional format… looking forward to how you get along with this!
Fascinating article, Samuel. I don’t know if I will be able to write one in time for the clock, but I thoroughly enjoyed this reading.
Lots of constraints — I love constraints. Well, I love jumping between freedom and constraints.
Thank you for the education!
No problem, if you can’t make it here, bring it up at Open Link Night. And I agree with you, it’s great fun testing the boundaries of freedom.
Came to the pub late, and oh my, now I have to try this! Time to get writing on my own ghazal.
Yes, it’s time! Thanks for dropping by, Gene, it’ll be interesting to see what you come up with.
Thank you, Sam, for such a detailed instruction. I had tried this form before but it did not include all the guidelines that you included here. I was able to spin something out but I know did not follow it to a T…oh, well. I enjoyed it just the same…hope that you do.
Well, you know, I didn’t follow my pentameter to a “T” either (shhh!). I could have, but at certain points it would have sounded awkward, so I opted to purposely jiggle the meter a little bit.
Sam, I just posted mine. Please let me know if I accomplished the form in any way if you read mine!
I’m looking forward to it, Mary, just got started late tonight; work sometimes follows me home.
This was a wonderful form to work with! Thanks Sam, for sharing it. Peace, Linda
You’re welcome, Linda, wonderful of you to try it out!
This is one of the very few times where I was able to visit every entry. It feels good!
Yes, I’m always in awe when Brian and Claudia manage to visit everyone – but it does feel good to leave your calling card in every mailbox, doesn’t it? 🙂
..I took a little poetic license with mine…was going to start over with different words choices but had already spent a lot of time on it, so decided to do the best I could with it…looks like i will get to read every entry later tonight as well..Tuesdays I’m able to get to about 1/4 of them…except for one time when I read all 158 or something…
Thank you Samuel for your excellent tutorial …and that poem is exceptional as I told you before…
A little poetic license is definitely acceptable! You can always save those different word choices for another time 🙂
On the number of offerings, I definitely sympathize – one time I was able to get through every entry on Open Link Night, but it took a very long time. I’m always in awe of Brian and Claudia, who manage to do it every day on the week and twice on Sundays!
And thank you for your kind words on the poem…
Just finished with work, so am late to the pub… but a nice crowd here tonight! Looking forward to an evening of Persian poetry!
apryl,
if you stop in…your comment widget is not working or not showing…i saw you asked for feedback but i saw no way to give it…sorry…
Apryl, I had the same experience that Brian did…saw no way to leave a comment for you.
Agh, Sam! I have been traveling tonight, so a bit pre-occupied but made an effort! Mine is super goofy – I found the rhythm very odd. I felt like the meter should be fore-shortened as it were, with the line ending before the last repeated word. I know that’s not right though so I tried to make the longer line. Compensated for weird sound by adding tons of rhyme! Ha. As I say in my post, I am quite sure at this point that I did not live in Persia in another lifetime. All that said, Rumi is just about my favorite poet ever. He will never need to make rumi for me among his compatriots! Ha. I am a bit punchy. Thanks for the brainteaser. k.
Ah, but I disagreed with you! Your ghazal was well-executed. Sometimes you have to make minor exceptions to the structure – an extra step in the meter, for example – because not to do so would be more of a transgression – subordinating the musicality of a passage, for example. So yes, you still may have lived in Persia in another lifetime, wouldn’t count that out.
Ha! Thanks. What bothered me a bit is there’s a sentimentality to the form – or my rendition – but I think that really does go with the territory. I mean I supposed one could do a comic one, but I do not think that that would be a true ghazal – they are very sincere by and large I think – I haven’t read them really – but listened to them , and they always seem full of longing. But I am a bit more sardonic (as you noted.) k.
Ah, the sentimentality comes with the territory – the ghazal is traditionally about romantic (or mystical) love. I did see a couple of more humorous ghazals out there, so it’s not unheard of!
alright poets, i am to bed…be back in the morning for the over nights…shalom
Good-night, Brian!
Sam – I meant to add how wonderful your ghazal was and congrats on the interview. k.
Thank you so much, Karin! You don’t know how many versions I went through with my ghazal – or maybe you do 🙂
As to the interview, it was fun. I go through so much behind-the-scenes for each poem (and yes, using the Stanislavski method is one of my tools) that I can’t wait to tell someone how something was put together.
I wrote a longer comment on your blog. I can tell you went through many versions – it is extremely polished with so many clever touches and intricate interplay – and subtle reversals – the arms becoming monk’s cell, and the infidel is such a great rhyme – and the heavens parting as veil – and all the under current of that anyway – it’s very well done. I should say deceptively simple but honestly I think the layers come out – it’s just that it does flow in a very lovely way too so people may absorb the layers without noting them specifically. k.
You caught many of the allusions there – including the monks’s cell! – beyond the lyrical. You’re the kind of reader that poets treasure (another able poet). Merci beaucoup!
I have always wanted to write a ghazal . I have attempted a sort of a pastiche of one.
Sounds very complicated to do it correctly. Perhaps when I have more time.
It isn’t really as complicated as it might seem… nevertheless, I am looking forward to your ghazal. So there.
Thank you! This challenge was, well, quite a challenge and totally fun. I should be sleeping, but instead, I’m counting syllables. And your own poem is truly exquisite. Thanks for sharing the art of ghazal with us.
Counting syllables instead of sheep – how a poet spends time in bed!
Dearest Sam, forgive my rough attempt! I posted though it is still on my rewrite table for more original images in the feasts I offer, more elegance in the flow, more bravery in the activities of fellowship. Suggestions are welcome. A worthy prompt!
Susan, all my own attempts are rough – I simply layer the plaster and sandpaper several times through (see above, I’m still not done!) until the seams don’t show as much. Looking forward to the read!
Sam, thanks for hosting FFA tonight. Excellent choice, have always enjoyed reading and writing the Ghazal. I just love how they seem to open up the potential that is within the poet’s soul. I typically use variations with the form, like I tend to shy away from the double repeating opening couplet and including my name, but in any event, they are fun to work in and lots of excellent responses so far. THanks again.
Thank you kindly! I agree, the more modern ghazals in English can be fun, but you know me: “The best way to master free verse is to write sonnets”. I’ll allow myself to experiment further and further from the classic ghazal format as soon as I feel comfortable with the traditional form. And that time hasn’t yet come!
I love ghazal and still read long syair to appreciate old hikayats.
I will give this a try, using the meaning of my original name.
nice look forward to it!!
It’ll be interesting to see, thanks for stopping by to try this out!
OK – I’ve linked up with my ghazal. To all of you who have written such beautiful poems, and especially to Sam whos wonderful article deserved better, I apologise.
No apologies necessary, yours was very inventive! And a great counterpoint to my “How To”, so I really appreciated it 🙂
I’m very late but here it is. Thanks for giving us a great post!
Just got back from work, and such an anthology waiting for me 🙂
The form is interesting and very challenging but I just had to try….. Thanks for the opportunity to learn. 🙂
The pleasure was mine, Imelda, so glad you could join us in the footsteps of Rumi!
Thirty-eight ghazals or ghazal sonnets. Amazing.
Only a couple more hours left to be able to join in, I wonder how many more we will see? But for now, I’m going to have to say ‘good-night’… will be back tomorrow.
Well, I’ve done a few ‘free ghazals’ in my time, thinking it had become a legit. modern form in English. This was harder! And I fear mine is melodramatic. I didn’t use full rhymes, but to make up for that I did rhyme the other lines as well. And my name is somewhat disguised.
Rosemary’s ghazal can be found here http://passionatecrone.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/dead.html
Thank you Tony. Didn’t realise I had missed the deadline.
Deadlines! I never make the deadlines for any of these, myself. Thanks, Rosemary, for joining in, and thanks Tony for the link!
enjoyed working on this .. Just because I listened to ghazals in Hindi/Urdu and was familar with them did not make writing this in English an easy task.. but neverthless fun..(LadyInRead@MyRandRSpace)
So glad to hear you’ve listened to ghazals in the original, and happy that you tried things out.
Forty ghazals! So happy to have seen you all here… hope to see you again next time!
Another to the collection, linked at OLN:
http://lolamousedroppings.blogspot.ca/2013/02/please-take-me-there.html