Samuel Peralta here…
Several nights ago, a midwinter storm hit Ontario, a storm that was the confluence of two weather front formations, that buried my neighbourhood in over two feet of snow.
It took me the better part of an hour to dig through to the road, and in that time, a poem was born.
A couple of nights ago, on Open Link Night, you may have had the chance to read that poem, “Ice at the Window”.
The poem is a variation on the sonnet form, and also a poem in response to the painting “Refracted Portrait’ by the artist Heather Horton.
Heather is a well-respected Canadian artist, a magic realist whose work can be found in private collections in Canada, the United States, Germany and Great Britain.
A constant companion and muse is her Russian blue, Sasha.
“Ice at the Window” is part of a collaborative series of visual and literary art pieces that I am doing with Heather.
If you weren’t able to catch the poem then, here it is again, in its current form:
ICE AT THE WINDOW
Samuel Peralta
Midwinter closes. This afternoon’s snow,
that melted in droplets on this surface
of frail glass, transfigures into ice.
From where I stand, outside, the hall light’s glow
paints a refracted portrait of your face,
a palette of sadness, pain, of sacrifice.
Each frozen prism, ice lens, a cameo
of suffering, a Murano glass trace
of time wearing down these, our fragile lies.
And will this be how I remember you?
Face fading in unconsummated grace,
light failing – and I cannot see your eyes.
Shorn of season, the wind begins to blow.
Midwinter closes, and you watch me go.
—–
The poem’s framework is a variation on the sonnet form – a fourteen-line form in (roughly) iambic pentameter.
It consists of four tercets (with rhyme scheme ABC-ABC-ABC-ABC), followed by a heroic couplet (with rhyme taken from one of the above tercet lines, AA, or BB, or CC).
A similar format has recently been referred to as a trilonnet – often with the somewhat inaccurate identification of the tercets as triplets.
Unfortunately, this reference obscures the relation to the sonnet, and overlooks the many previous examples of this and similar variations on the tercet-based Terza Rima or Diaspora Sonnet.
I prefer, therefore, to refer to the ABC-ABC-ABC-ABC-AA/BB/CC structure here as a Trireme Sonnet, in honor of the maritime vessels used by the ancient Phoenicians, Greeks and Romans, propelled on each side by three rows of oars.
Triremes figured prominently in the myths I learned in school, wondrous vessels that could imbue the mundane with magic.
Consequently, magic realism became a common technique in my own poems, where magical elements find their way into an ordinary and realistic environment.
In my case, the magical element could be spiritual or scientific in nature – transfiguration, sublimation, prisms, refraction – that serve to elevate the realistic experience into something more.
In further revisions, I also pick and choose elements that do not contribute to the overall theme of the poem, and edit them out.
The removal of these extraneous items also constitute a magicality – an exception from reality – that focuses the reader on what is essential to the poem.
These techniques are common in the visual arts as well.
In Heather’s own words: “My work is primarily figurative. I strive to create a visual tension in my work through cropping, stark environments and overall composition.”
“There is a prevailing sense of isolation and alienation in my paintings. I want the viewer to wonder what is beyond the borders of the canvas.”
I’ve done ekphrastic poetry before – poetry in response to art – notably in my “Sonnets from the Labrador” series with the work of David Blackwood. (Incidentally, Heather’s work provided the inspiration for the cover image of the ebook version.)
The challenge – and payoff – in ekphrastic poetry is to find an interpretation of the original artistic inspiration that allows the poem to complement the artwork – and yet stand on its own.
For “Refracted Portrait”, I found that interpretation not with my pen, but with my shovel.
Digging through the snow, that day of the midwinter storm, I stopped exhausted, turned to look back at my house, its bay window glistening with frost – and it hit me.
In that moment, I knew I had to transform what had been a third-party narrator of the poem into an active participant in the undescribed drama.
That viewer, that participant – indeed the backstory of the image – isn’t in the original artwork at all.
However, with that new character, I could begin to explore the story “beyond the borders of the canvas”…
—–
As I noted before, “Ice at the Window” is the first in a collaborative series of visual and literary art pieces that I am doing with Heather.
The series – with over-arching themes and metaphors of snow and ice – is my first sustained collaborative art-and-poetry effort.
I’m pleased to set out on this new journey, and excited to see how it evolves. I’m hoping that you make this journey with me.
Tonight, I invite you to contribute a Trireme Sonnet, as I’ve laid it out here. If you can go one step further and make it an ekphrastic poem – a poem in response to inspiration from a painting, sculpture, photograph, or the like – that would be amazing.
Please don’t forget to take in the poems of your comrades-in-writing and leave them a note to say you’ve been there.
—–
Samuel Peralta – on Twitter as @Semaphore – is the author of five titles in The Semaphore Collection – Sonata Vampirica, Sonnets from the Labrador, How More Beautiful You Are, Tango Desolado and War and Ablution – all #1 on the Amazon Kindle List of Hot New Releases in Poetry on their debut.
Read a recent interview with the author and his thoughts on writing poetry on Combustus magazine’s “Samuel Peralta: The Physics of Poetry”
More of Heather Horton’s art can be found at HeatherHorton.com
Copyright (c) Samuel Peralta. All rights reserved.
“Sasha, Sun”, “Refracted Portrait”, “David’s Studio, Sunset” and “Palette” copyright (c) Heather Horton, used with permission.
Other images public domain / via WikiMedia Commons or as attributed.
Sam– I simply loved “Ice at the Window.” So beautiful, and so sad.
Thanks Susan, while part of it is the imagination, a large part of it is Heather’s evocative painting that inspired the story.
The combination works beautifully! I am often inspired by photographs and paintings.
Wow, this might take me a little while 😉 but I will try
…and your piece is wonderful…paddling a norwegian fjord in a kajak…oh i wanna go there…sigh
Bjorn, thanks for stopping by and for contributing… I haven’t stopped by yet, but will later. It does sound very atmospheric.
very cool on the collab with heather and also so cool to hear the background story to your wonderful sonnet…a fantastic piece sam…
also liked your description of magic realism…really like this and think i will play with this a bit more as well…
and ok…time for a confession..i went a bit astray with my sonnet as i just got a bit over-excited..smiles… the funny thing is though that just about 2 hours after i’ve posted it on my blog i got a request from one of the editors of a 21st century sonnet collection if they could include it in the book…so.. isn’t the world a wondrous place at times…? smiles
love the background story as well and will give it a whirl..and congrats, Claudia..!
thanks katy…and can’t wait to read yours..
Congrats Claudia…yours is humming with a unique beat ~ Smiles ~
Thanks, Claudia, glad you found a few arrows for your quiver here! And congratulations on the anthology – it’s amazing synchronicity!
Wow, Claudia, congratulations. I haven’t read the contributions yet, as I make a point of at least making a start on my own poem before getting side-tracked on others’ ideas.
Claudia, your sonnet is just too much fun for us to keep to ourselves – so glad that it will be shared with an even wider audience that it has here 🙂
Thanks for introducing us to the Trireme Sonnet… it is challenging indeed.
i find form poetry always challenging but also love the stretching beyond free verse borders…(every once and a while..ha…smiles) you did well with the form laurie
Thanks… and so did you, Claudia. I meant what I said about how I just love that I can hear your voice through the form, your own unique style. Brian’s too.
Oh, I accidentally posted 3 tercets and 1 couplet at first but have since fixed it.
Whoa, you may have just invented a new form there 😉
It’s only challenging at first, but the beauty is that because the rhymes are so far apart, it doesn’t feel too much like form poetry at all. Thanks for stopping by, Laurie!
Thanks for your very special comment on my piece, Samuel. It means the world to me coming from you and I will cherish it forever (I know, sounds sappy… perhaps I’ll write a poem about it).
When you, and others, take time to write a poem to the structure I write about – a trireme sonnet! – it entails a lot. You have to think about what I’ve posed, and often have to stretch because formal poetry isn’t always a part of our regular writing regimen. So I do appreciate the effort it takes, and I really take time to think over each work, what you tried to get at, what you tried to accomplish. This form seemed to bring out the best in people, I don’t know why – but I definitely enjoyed this outing. It’s I who has to thank you for taking the time.
Well, I personally love challenges… and I thank YOU for your time in such wonderful prompts.
Very interesting Sam – what a rich feature you have put together here… Beautiful,thoughful and well sculpted work and quite inspiring. Thankyou! With Best Wishes Scott http://www.scotthastie.com
nice…so you going to play scott?
Thanks Scott, will be looking for your contributions, if the muse does find you!
Oh Sam, you poetic devil, you. I should have paid more attention to Brian’s sonnet, with his clear ABC-ABC-ABC-ABC-AA rhyme scheme. Instead I got into research on tercets and came up with ABA-BAB-ABA-BAB-AA for my submission. That’s what I get for being a self-starter; but hey, you will get a lot of different responses with this prompt.
Hi Glenn, thanks for dropping by, and for all the retweets and tweets! In reality, the tercet/couplet form – no matter what the rhyme scheme – should be a big subset of the sonnet form, because the format forces the volta to be in a different place from the traditional Shakespearian or Petrarchan sonnets. Looking forward to seeing what you offer!
A very challenging form, it took me all day ~
That winter day was brutal Sam, and the shoveling continues till this day ~
I can’t wait for springtime ~
(I noted some links that are not writing to the form)
Wishing everyone a lovely day ~
Grace
yep..removed the two links and left them a message…we had an almost spring day over here today.. went to basle for a short business meeting and just wished the walk to the tram station was 100 km long as it was just so beautiful…
yesterday was amazing here….loved the sun…felt its warm kiss…today i am getting the cold shoulder….ha….and maybe snow by saturday…nuts….
Grace – yes, I too can’t wait for spring. My muscles ache – literally ache! – for it. We’ve clouds, and dug through the heaviest snow yesterday and today, four inches yesterday and three inches today. Not much in volume compared to the big storm, but this was HEAVY snow.
Hiya Sam,
lovely new type of sonnet to savour.
I can do ekphrastic, but the extra four lines are a little shaky.
The extra dimension of the participant is hard to deliver though.
So nice to see an ancient form revitalized.
hey aprille…yours was really cool….particularly the last tercet and the couplet…
I love ekphrastic poetry, especially when I can see the inspirational artwork side-by-side with the poem, the two add dimensions to each other. Will be looking forward to yours, Aprille!
Hi Sam. I have had a busy day. I will hopefully write one to share tonight. Yours is beautiful.
ah hope the day calms down a bit for you mary…looking forward to what you’re coming up with
Thanks Mary, will be getting around the trail soon!
Great prompt! I loved your poem– how perfectly it captures the crystalline, sugar-spun beauty of a snowscape; a beauty made more poignant in its fragility and impermanence. The last few lines really got to me. I felt a sad fluttering in my stomach as I realized I was witnessing the dying gasps of this relationship. I love poems that mingle melancholy with images of austere loveliness, so this poem was right up my alley 😀
I really like Heather’s work too. I don’t know much about art, but I like how much of her work seems to be portraits filtered and refracted through water or glass, or else in shadow or silhouette. “David’s Studio, Sunset,” in particular, struck something within me– the vast expanse of the landscape framed in the windowpane, like a work of art itself. It has a lonesome purity to it.
I’m very excited about writing my sonnet, and to see what everyone else comes up with! I haven’t tried to write in a form (beside haiku and tanka) in a long time, so I expect it will be challenging. This will definitely be a good way to force my brain to work in a different way.
Off to find the perfect art work to serve as my muuuuuuse!!!
nice…looking forward to your piece ursa
Ursa, so glad you found a lot to connect to in my essay. I’ve been a follower of Heather Horton’s art for years now, and it’s been inspiring. She’s a storyteller whose visual ambiguity allows the viewer to make up their own stories – perfect for ekphrastic work.
Looking forward to what you come up with!
nice….pretty cool on the collab…and on the form as well…i didnt break it as bad as i usually do….smiles….just coming in after the kiddies left the classroom….about to play some catch up…
pretty cool thoughts around magical realism as well sam…will have to consider that more as i write my piece for this weekend and see if i can work it in there too….best wishes on your new project….
Thanks Brian… and I am so glad you stuck to the form as much as you did, I know it isn’t really second nature for you, but wow, you did the form justice!
ok..logging off for tonight… and looking forward to read the overnights first thing in the morning with my müsli and coffee…smiles
Have a good night, Claudia, see you in the morning!
How nice to see you back at the helm – and to learn of your latest project … lovely poem incidentally … poignant too. Not sure I did justice to either form (trireme sonnet or ekphrastic – but love the latter very much) … and enjoy learning variations of forms – thanks for a good night Sam
http://leapinelephants.blogspot.ca/2013/02/beneath-mirrored-surface.html
Nice to see you here too! The project will take a while to finish, but it will be an interesting journey. Looking forward to your poem, I’m sure you nailed it!
Just home from my poetry class – 3 more weeks until we break for Easter, then it’s on Wednesday afternoons next term. I managed to put my trireme sonnet together this afternoon – although it came to me in a strange order. I had the last 2 tercets and the closing couplet before I had the opening line!
I’ll be round to visit everyone tomorrow.
I meant to say to Sam – thanks for the prompt, the challenge and a truly interesting article.
Tony, thanks for stopping by, and thanks for the kind words! I hear you about how your poem came into being – you never know which lines will appear out of thin air… or which ones will give you the most problems, for that matter. The most difficult line for me was the second-to-the-last line, where my previous four or five versions tipped the scales a little too much on the sentimental side. That took ages to get right.
Thanks for the challenge Sam! I also have to thank my very good friend Scott Mitchell who gave me a crash course on the basics of a true sonnet… I really had a swell time on this one 🙂
Cheers everyone!
you did have fun with it…enjoyed…it brought back childhood…smiles…
That is fabulous! I’ll be on the trail soon, so looking forward to your work 🙂
I used a painting by my sister as my inspiration tonight…it did flow pretty well as I got going with it. Thanks for the education, Sam. I kept with the rhyme scheme but sure did not keep to the meter of a true sonnet…as usual…
nice…she is a great artist…enjoyed seeing her painting…and turtles are cool…smiles…
Turtles are so cool. I’ve seen many of those loggerheads on the beaches here laying their eggs… Thanks, Brian…I’ll pass on your compliment to her.
Ah, but you did the ekphrastic and the rhyme scheme… so what’s a broken iambic between friends? 😉
Haha…I appreciate your forgiving nature, Sam…thank you!
I’ve been known to break a meter or two, myself 🙂
Samuel,
Your poem is, literally, breathtaking. I’m inspired to try. I love your challenges because I’ve always shied away from form, in my younger years I couldn’t bear the containment. But your challenges have motivated me and improved my skill.
Thank you for your always thoughtful introductions.
Wyeth
so what you are saying is this will get easier for me the older i get? smiles….
Brian, whenever you try it out, it’s easy to see you CAN easily do it already, you just CHOOSE not to… and I respect that…
ha. it is a challenge for me…poetry flows for me in free verse…and its harder for me to make that work in form…but i appreciate you saying that…dont get me wrong…i def enjoy the challenge more than i ever have…you and gay and good for me…smiles.
Wyeth, thanks very much for the kind words! It’s all based on practice, of course. The more sonnets you write (I’ve done a few) the easier it gets. Looking forward to what you might come up with!
Samuel, is it okay to use Heather’s art for inspiration? Working on my sonnet now. Thank you for these wonderful introductions.
Sorry I was so abrupt, I was so eager to get back to my half composed poem and then felt so guilty I could not continue with it.
I love your introductions and your poetry more. I actually think about the subject matters you introduce for days for example, I could not get the Gahzal out of my mind for a looong while.
Thank you again, I do have to get back to the poem, please do let me know if I can use heather’s picture otherwise I will think of something else…
I’m sure it’s okay to use her paintings for inspiration… but you can’t reproduce the image of the artwork on your site without her written permission. To do that, you need to ask her via the contact on her site (see my link above). Or else, just provide a link back to the original artwork. Good luck!
Oh, and if she does give permission to reproduce the artwork image, you still should put the copyright notice like I do above. Cheers!
good morning…kinda awake…smiles..out on the trail inabit…
Good morning, Claudia!
good morning claudia…heading down myself…have a great day
Sam, cool form and poem. I do not have wifi right now and am getting very tired of posting from my iPhone, so will try but probably late. But I find the different sonnet form very interesting, thanks. K.
Thanks so much for the kind words! If I were posting from a smartphone, I, too, would want to keep my posting short and to the point!
I do find this sonnet variation rather unique – it lends itself well to free-verse-like poetry, the rhymes are subtle, and the usual ‘turn’ in the sonnet can take place at points in the progression that are very different from more traditional sonnet forms.
Hi Sam, I’ve written one, but don’t know if I have time to get up before Mr. LInky closes. k.
Even if you don’t have the time to get in under the wire, please do tap me on the shoulder and I’ll come around to have a read. Cheers!
I’ve actually almost got it. Thanks. Any minute. I will though. It’s a fun form. Mine quite strange. (As per usual.) k.
Yay! You did it! With a septet-septet variant of the form, as well!
Well, this isn’t what I started out to do..I had a painting in mind and did not find it..and a different poem…perhaps another day. I’m finding all the poetic forms similar yet so different….I missed studying them years ago so am still learning..thanks, and I left a comment on your poem last week. Thank you.
Thanks! Back when in school, I didn’t pay too much attention to form either, although I wrote a lot of rhymed quatrains on my own. It was only later that I began to be aware of how useful form was in honing my craft. It’s been a love affair ever since.
Pretty fun Sam. Pretty sure I deviated away from the pentameter here and there, always do though lol. Nice twist on the Sonnet, definitely like the magic realism twist as well.
I prefer a credible natural language rhythm to my lines, rather than a strict iambic pentameter… so I can definitely see where you’re coming from. Glad you could make it!
Great challenge. Much exercising of the old grey matter. And a lot of fun, so thanks.
No problemo! Lord knows my own grey matter needs a lot of exercising to stay in shape these days!
Sam, I love this prompt – it’s sent my mind racing in many directions, all of them exciting. For a start, I love sonnets of whatever kind, and also ekphrastic poetry. But don’t expect a poem in five minutes! Maybe tomorrow, maybe next year or somewhere in between.
Thanks Viv… we share that love for sonnets and ekphrastic poetry. So, anytime you’re ready, please do give me a tap on the shoulder. 🙂
Well, it did take a while,
and I’ve missed Mister Linky by a mile,
but the fruit of my labour may bring a smile)
on my blog: http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com/2013/03/03/wistful-wordle-a-trireme-sonnet/
And now to read the rest of the pile!
PS, the name Trireme Sonnet is inspired!
Thanks, glad you thought so… now if only we could get it into use in MFA programs!
This has been an exceptional selection of trireme sonnets so far… I’ve laughed, cried, been driven to provocation – that’s a good thing – and altogether impressed with the amount of work that has gone into the poetry.
Now I’m off to work and will get back to the rounds later tonight. Thanks so much for all the poetry so far. Got a second trireme sonnet in you for later? 😉
Cheers!
…i so enjoyed Horton’s art… i do know how to use oils on paintings but i must admit i’m not good at it…so, instead, i focus on using some other mediums like pastels, chalks, water colors & most recently, crayons… well those were part of beginner’s medium, though, i’ve been doing art pieces since i was 6… hehe…
…Shakespearian sonnet has always been my comfort zone but ’tis always a good thing to reinvent & experiment at times… going beyond your comfort zone & know you’re an artist – artist of countless limitations…. thanks Sam for bringing this up… connection issues & loads of technical glitches ruined my yesterday & the other… and now all is well… looking forward to reading these inspiring contributions today… smiles…
Hi Kelvin, sorry to hear about your technical glitches… but so glad you could make it!
I’m not great personally at visual art, though I’ve tried my hand at it. Both my mom and dad were painters, so I thought I might have some innate ability – no such luck. I make up for it by appreciating and collecting art, so have quite a bit of a collection. I started early, in university, where I spent a lot of my scholarship money on a watercolor by a Philippine artist!
Anyway, I had a long day at work today, so am starting a bit late, but am looking forward to the next round.
Thirty-three poets, with thirty-four trireme sonnets and two haikus submitted… I’d say that was a record for the trireme sonnet!
I really enjoyed myself this time around. For some reason this structure seemed to bridge the gap between formal poetry and free verse. My thinking is that the rhyme scheme is so subtle that both the reader and writer are lulled into pursuing the poem as if it were actually free verse – and then the heroic couplet at the end shocks them into realizing the structure.
Whatever the reason, there have been several exceptional poems offered these two nights… and if you haven’t yet, I’d encourage everyone to go around and have a look, it’s certainly worth it.
For now, I’m signing off, thank you so much for joining me for this trireme adventure!
Hi Sam – Well I did miss the links – but I much enjoyed the form. Here’s mine:
http://manicddaily.wordpress.com/2013/03/02/passive-aggression-agatha-trireme-sonnet/
Thanks.
Just saw your trireme sonnet on St. Agatha – thanks for sharing this! – and it was absolutely amazing. I encourage everyone to read this, it will stop you in your tracks.
Thanks so much. Sam. k.
With only six hours remaining at Mr. Linky, and this being the middle of the night and all, I doubt I will have anything in response to this prompt. But, oh Samuel, how your prompts do spark my mind and almost always with such intensity that I have tears in my eyes. As now. This whole prompt is so, so beautiful and stirring. Your poem, with the view from the other, is sublime. Your collaboration with Heather is truly exciting. How lucky we are to be welcomed in on the process. Thank you.
Lydia, I’m so happy you stopped by to have a read.
Sonnets sometimes take a while to form – as mine did – so it’s a feat when people are able to come up with even rough drafts within the time that’s allotted for the link-button. I don’t expect a lot of response, and am pleasantly surprised when I get more than a handful of poems.
But I do put a lot of work into my own poetry, and the essays – because I am passionate about form and how practicing form can make your own poetry, even free verse, better – so it’s always wonderful to get a kind word about them.
Thank you so much!