In our poems, we want people not only to read our words but feel them
So – how do we manage to “translate” our emotions in a way the reader gets emotionally involved?
We could of course take the direct approach and write “I felt so sad…”
But honestly – I find that naming emotions directly works very seldom really well in poetry – and as poets we have so much more possibilities…
So instead of writing “I felt terribly lonely” or “I was so happy” or “I’m desperate”…. we could say exactly the same thing much more creative, to the point and colorful…
- through storytelling
- through (unexpected) images
- through metaphors
- through direct speech/conversation snippets without touching the subject!!
- through placing light //color// shade in the right places
- through stage setting
- through rhythm
- through focusing on certain details
- through over-exaggerating
- through animals (a great example is the poem Searchers by D. Nurkse)
- through music (just think of a scene in a movie… you don’t even have to watch but you know something terrible is going to happen just by the background music…) how can you translate this into poetry? Glenn Buttkus sometimes does it by bringing an instrument into the scene… other ideas? personalizing a musical instrument? could work..
and – and – and….
So the challenge today is to write a poem that conveys certain emotions WITHOUT ever naming the emotion!!
Don’t TELL us “I felt lonely or miserable or abundantly happy” but choose the indirect way through the above tools (or maybe find your own tool) to SHOW, to make us FEEL what /how YOU feel
Two examples…
Conveying emotions through a conversation without touching the subject:
Passing lights by Anton Gourman
She says
‘we all have to start somewhere’
keeping her eyes on the road.
milestones flash by through the night like cigarette embers,
and promises of other lives
wink wink wink
through the windows of houses we pass.
in the dark it’s hard to see.
bugs splatter against the windshield
as tens of life metaphors a mile
correct the wrongs we think.
her rubber smokes road
inch by inch.
the engine sings
She says
‘we all have to start somewhere’
keeping her eyes on the road.
diners go by like missed opportunities
every other hour
while we follow the words of the GPS
instead of a compass
because voices in the sky never lie
She shivers against the night
hands at ten and two,
clutching the wheel
just hard enough to turn her knuckles white
and I change tracks on the CD again
**
Conveying emotions through images:
on finding skittles in the cushions by Brian Miller
snow melts, grass grows
& i think of you
as i walk down the hill to the shed
where the lawn mower waits
to roar to life, cutting
heads off dandelions, spraying dismembered
clippings across the side walk
the gas can is empty though
so i go back inside
to a couch
with no arms.
**
Alright.. have fun writing and see you out on the trail..
–Claudia
If you’re here for the first time, this is how it works..
- Write a poem that fits the above theme
- Post it on your blog
- Copy the direct URL to your poem and your name into the above Mr. Linky tool
- Read and comment others that have taken the challenge
- Promote yours & others on social media if you like – and if you use the @dVersePoets tag we can retweet you
freyathewriter said:
Great prompt this week, once again Claudia! It seems to fit with what’s been going round in my head of late, so thank you for unleashing my metaphorical beast into poetry, fully-formed. Thank you for tending bar tonight!
claudia said:
haha… here’s to unleashing that metaphorical beast in all of us…smiles
Björn Rudberg (brudberg) said:
I loved this prompt. Very fitting for a Swede, disliking showing emotions directly.. I love the subtle ways of hinting at emotions.. I have read a few.. And I’m just awed at what can be done.
claudia said:
ah yes – we germans usually don’t carry our heart on our sleeves as well… it’s much a cultural thing as well… i haven’t thought of that before you mentioned it..
Gay Reiser Cannon said:
Great prompt Claudia – mine is matching two prompts today – the other for Poetry Month is “write a message”. So hopefully this fulfills both.
Not to intrude on today’s MTB, but I wanted to give everyone a heads up on next weeks MTB prompt as I believe it will take more than the usual “think” time. Next week the challenge is to DEVELOP YOUR OWN FORM OR TYPE OF POEM. It can be a variation on a set form, it can be set meter, set rhyme scheme; or it can be a completely new kind of poem – a different shape, a different way of writing a poem, or something else unique – it just has to be your own and not like anything else. It should be stated in a way that others can follow its formula. So think it out and write an example. So now you know why I wanted to give advance notice.
Now back to today. Sorry Claudia.
claudia said:
appreciate the heads-up gay – that needs def. a bit time to develop.. very cool idea…
Mary said:
Thanks for the info, Gay!
brian miller said:
wow that sounds interesting…ha
Mary said:
Claudia, I really liked this challenge a LOT. I think this is one I will think of often, as it really IS so much more effective to show rather than to tell in poetry. I liked the poetic examples you shared as well, Claudia.
claudia said:
it’s something i have to remind myself constantly of as well.. esp. as i’m more a straight-forward person naturally….
Gabriella said:
Thank you for the challenging prompt, Claudia! I enjoyed reading what others wrote so far.
claudia said:
yes – enjoyed my round so far as well…
Grace said:
I love the technique of writing about an emotion without stating it outright ~ Thanks for the wonderful challenge Claudia ~ Will be by to return visits ~
Happy Thursday to all ~
claudia said:
happy thursday to you as well grace…
MarinaSofia said:
Japanese and Chinese classical literature are full of such instances: the dew on the hem of the kimono signifying abandonment and grieving, flower symbolism for all sorts of emotions (especially wisteria for mourning), elaborate references to other famous poems…
Look forward to reading, but may be a while until I take part tomorrow.
claudia said:
wow… is it really wistera for mourning…. i have a wild and huge one that grows up to our balcony on the first floor – and it winds its limbs around the rail and actually holds it together… i find esp. in haikus the japanese use wonderful images
jo-hanna said:
Saying something without actually saying it.
Not the easiest of tasks.
Wish I could do the flower symbolism Marina talks of.
Thanks Claudia, thinking about this all afternoon took my mind off my toothache 🙂
claudia said:
oh…toothache sounds mean…. hope it’s getting better soon…
Gay Reiser Cannon said:
😦 hate that for you jo-hanna
claudia said:
just spent a bit time with my daughter in the kitchen… she cooks (10 pm!!) and listens to south american music…smiles… good to have her back…
Mary said:
Oh, I LOVE South American music!! I am sure it is wonderful to have her back.
kelly said:
I think my poem for today fits in here (hoping so)… I love this idea, I think that you are right in that the indirect approach is the most effective when it comes to poetry.
Looking forward to everyone else’s take on this!
claudia said:
yes – i think your poem fits perfectly…
Glenn Buttkus said:
The Arts can teach us a lot as poets, as an actor conveys emotion, they must play the situation, & let the emotion rise up organically; nothing worse than shallow forced emotion; in painting, color, composition, light, subject(s) all convey so much without words; photography the same, macro or zoom, a complete novella in imagery. Great idea for a prompt, thanks. As to Gay’s heads-up, I am already more than prepared with my original form, “Cinemagenics”. Will not post 1 of 12 from LOVE HURTS, or 1 or 25 from BLACKTHORNE; will come up with a new one.
claudia said:
ah – you def. found your own poem style already with your cinemagenics…cool
cometotimmy said:
though I’ll probably pass on this one it is a great kick in the pants kind of thing to think and play around, grapple with, keep in mind.
rosross said:
Poetry is the instrument upon which emotion plays.
claudia said:
ah – i like that
Madhura said:
I really really love this prompt, Claudia! So many possibilities, hard to decide which way to go! My muse for once, took off reading this prompt… Though for my poem I just went with the strongest emotion I felt 🙂
claudia said:
i think it’s a good thing to go with the strongest emotions…
Victoria C. Slotto said:
This is such a rich prompt, Claudia, and especially useful for those of us who write prose, too as we’re taught that whole “show-don’t-tell” concept. I shouldn’t say taught–rather it’s beaten into our thick skulls. I’m home for now while the pup is in surgery. We’re waiting!
claudia said:
oh i hope everything goes well victoria …keep us posted…
claudia said:
ok poets… bedtime for me over here… will catch up tomorrow morning… happy writing… smiles
shanyns said:
This is an interesting challenge Claudia, I’m pondering it as I type this. Hmmmmmm
While I am thinking, can you pour me a brown cow neat? This has been a beast and a blessing of a week!
kkkkaty said:
I don’t know; perhaps it was cheating to use music. It alone evokes so much emotion; the poem itself may not deliver like I wanted it to.
kkkkaty1 said:
oh,,,,I love the prompt and had several ideas..thanks, C.
lupitatucker said:
Good evening everyone! It’s dinnertime here, but I will back right after to read (when all will be quiet, at last!) Very cool challenge Claudia. I wrote this one at the library again with the kiddos, trying to squeeze out a poem in between managing 5 children attempting to haul home 50 books each 🙂
Grace said:
What a challenge ~ For me when its crunch time (before 3 pm), the words spill out fast ~ Good to see you ~
brian miller said:
hey claudia, great topic…wrote to it already, as you know…smiles
but will probably not post til morning…several big grad papers to get done
taking priority right now…have fun with it everyone…
Grace said:
Hi Brian ~ Looking forward to reading yours, smiles ~
brian miller said:
i snuck back in once i finished my paper and went ahead and dropped it
caught up with most…will return comment to those i havent tomorrow…
Laurie Kolp said:
Great prompt, Claudia… sorry I’m late. It’s just the way things are right now.
brian miller said:
that i understand laurie…
Akila said:
This was playing in my mind. thanks for this prompt Claudia I let it out a bit.
Imelda said:
This is a lovely prompt, Claudia. Everybody has emotions, one way or the other. 😉
claudia said:
haha… most def… let me get a coffee first and i’ll be out on the trail in a bit… smiles
brian miller said:
good night c….
hope you are enjoying your family home…smiles.
claudia said:
yes i do.. just walked into their rooms and watched them sleep…smiles
ManicDdaily said:
Hey Claudia–glad all well–I don’t know if this qualifies. Thanks. k.
claudia said:
oh i def. think it does…
Barry Dawson said:
Alright… I posted. Had to sprint out the door to drop wifey off at her rental car (she’s roadtripping this weekend with the kids. Yay, pending brief alone time!)
I’ll be making the rounds this weekend after this crash-course in multi-tasking.
claudia said:
nice.. hope she’s having fun… i love roadtrips…smiles
claudia said:
ok… off to work and back in the evening to catch up..
thisgirlremembers said:
This is a great prompt – thank you! It took me somewhere altogether unexpected. 🙂
claudia said:
nice… i like unexpected.. will be over in a bit to read..
http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com said:
Metaphor is really not my thing, and I shirk at revealing too much emotion. I am posting too many napowrimo poems on my blog, so you can have this one for free!
My poems are an adventure
into ideas unexplored.
My poems are a mish-mash,
a soup of varied words.
My poems are a patchwork quilt,
of scraps of cloth in brilliant colours,
sewn together in quirky patterns
by accident or design.
My poems are the music of me
the rhythm of my life.
My poems are an adventure
willingly explored.
claudia said:
nice… poems being the music of you…the rhythm of life… i like … and i like my poetry a bit adventurous as well at times… smiles
charlesmashburn said:
Late again! Busy turning the page and beginning a new chapter in my blogging life. The little poem I’m offering up today was the first post in the new beginning, and there is some emotion in it. It was inspired by a friend’s post on Facebook, where she simply commented that working in the yard until sunset was one of her favorite things. My reply was an un-edited version of the poem. See y’all on down the road!
claudia said:
oh nice… a new beginning sounds interesting… be over to read in a minute..
othermary said:
Can I still add? I hope so! this is a great prompt Claudia!
Kim Nelson said:
Haven’t bellied up to the bar in a very long time. Thrilled to be here!
brian miller said:
yep…stays open til midnite tonight mary so you are good…
be over shortly
hey kim!!!!
Susan said:
Hurray! A Claudia prompt! I’m glad to see you at my site and here. I’ve read some and will be back to see the rest … Have a fine weekend.
claudia said:
smiles… have a lovely weekend as well susan
Björn Rudberg (brudberg) said:
Ah.. now I’m here again.. have been a long day.. so many visitors so many poems to read.. and the embers are keeping me company
claudia said:
oh nice… reading poetry by an open fireplace sounds wonderful
Björn Rudberg (brudberg) said:
A friday treat… at least until spring is fully here
katiemiafrederick said:
Moving so many places in so many directions..i rest here for a second and share..but beware..eye photos a head;)
And certainly one of the most emotion filled thoughts i bring to the table of life..
i think…
claudia said:
smiles… it’s good to see the yes in his eYes… and i hope you enjoyed the chinese food..
Lydia said:
Loved this prompt, Claudia. I wrote pure shit last night and dumped it this morning. Got something a bit better written this afternoon.
Happy weekend to you!
brian miller said:
smiles…be over in a minute
and save that shit, you might find gold in it eventually…