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This month we are featuring the poetic forms of “lai” and “lai nouveau”. So the challenge today is to write a new lai or lai nouveau or revise a former entry. The Mister Linky points to Grace’s original Poetic Forms link.
I wrote my first lai a few days ago. Now I will write a lai nouveau to illustrate the form. For other examples of the lai and lai nouveau, see Grace’s post.
First I make sure I know what the requirements are. This is how I see them. Let me know in the comments if I got this wrong.
- Stanzas contain eight lines.
- The first two lines of the first stanza are repeated in reverse order as the last two lines in the remaining stanzas.
- The third and sixth lines rhyme in each stanza and have only two syllables. This rhyme sound for the two-syllable lines may vary from stanza to stanza.
- The first, second, fourth, fifth, seventh and eighth lines rhyme and have five syllables. The rhyme sound for the five-syllable lines is fixed throughout the poem.
The requirements are the dance floor. As long as the floor is reasonably level creativity can dance with intuition.
I will plan on two stanzas, but because of that repeating couplet that begins and ends the poem, I should first commit to it. That couplet is what the poem is about. All the other lines point back to it,
With only five-syllable lines I could opt for two or three accented syllables per line for the meter. I’ll try two accented syllables mainly because I would normally pick three. Change may be good.
Here are my first two lines both forward and reverse: In the forward version I capitalized the accented syllables and split the syllables with hyphens
my-STER-i-ous THINGS
that SOFT, cool light BRINGS
That soft, cool light brings
Mysterious things
To finish I had to fill in the remaining lines. This took some time. I revised, forgot and revised again. Here is the result.
Mysterious things
That soft, cool light brings –
Be true.
With silent, sure wings
My memory swings.
Renew.
Take care. Poison flings
With doubt as it springs.
Dark fear creeps and clings.
The shrill discord rings.
Be kind.
Forgive. There joy kings
The lovebird who sings
To find
That soft, cool light brings
Mysterious things.
The revisions were preparation for the ball and the dance can now proceed.
Now it is your turn. Let’s bring our poems to the dance.
To participate write a lai or lai nouveau poem, or modify one already written, and post your poem. Copy the link to your post and insert it into the Mister Linky below. Read how others are meeting the challenge.
Welcome! The pub is open!
Thanks for hosting Frank! Be back after myexercise session to give a lai a try…
Thanks for stopping by, Rob! Enjoy the exercise.
I still find the rhythm to these things unnatural Frank, but I assembled a second one.
Thank you Frank for the additional notes. I have written another Lai Nouveau and this time is a little bit easier.
I especially like how you tied the two stanzas together of your lai nouveau. I usually think of stopping at the end of a stanza, but, especially in the case of the lai nouveau with its tying the first two lines with the last two, that may not be the best way to deal with those two stanzas. I am going to have to remember not to stop at the end of a stanza in the future.
Good evening Frank and intrepid poets! And thank you for hosting, Frank. I’m still struggling with the lai but have given it another shot. I’m going to try and work my way through the rest of the links over the weekend, when I have a bit more time.
I like how the two-syllable lines in your lai nouveau had the accent on the first syllable. That is something I am going to have to try.
Cannot say I find comfort in the form yet… but I did try to do another Lai Noveau
I find it hard as well, but I think it is closer to a song with the shorter lines.
Well done Frank! I admire anyone who can write a poem in this form.
Thanks, Jane! It is more, for me, mechanically following the rules than feeling the rhythm.
I hate to admit it, but I really dislike this form.
My favorite form is common meter. But I do like song lyrics with even shorter lines.
What works with lyrics doesn’t always work with poetry, I find. With songs you can have a refrain and music can lengthen the lines or add lines. There’s not enough to the lai for my taste.
Good point.
Hi Frank and All. Thank you for the extra instruction on this challenging form. The weather is beautiful today and the lilies planted last fall have come out of the dirt. I’ll work on a lai nouveaux and post it when it’s done. Wish me luck!
The lilies must know it is time to grow. But it is about time Spring has arrived. Good luck!
🙂
Hi Frank. Thanks for hosting, and for providing more helpful details!
I’m still not a big fan of this particular form, but I may give it other try at some point. 🙂 No time today, as I have some other writing commitments that I have to take care of.
I find it rather odd as well. But it provides an alternative to explore. Thanks for stopping by, Merril!
Hello Frank- Thanks for hosting, and these are all great points. I am going to give it a try again, need to think on what I did add my Lai Nouveau from yesterday to the link too.
Great! I may try it again also. The poetry form link is open for most of the month so there is plenty of time.
Thanks Frank!
Thanks. I’ve tried only my second lai today
Thank you for stopping by and linking your lai nouveau, Larry! I have only written a handful of these as well.
I read your very detailed instructions, Frank, and my muse went screaming into the night! The lai nouveau is a machiavellian form of poetic torture that does not fall well on my ear. It seems to need the two little syllables at the end to tie it up in a pretty bow. Perhaps I’ll try another lai, but I leave the nouveau to my very talented peers.
I find it complicated as well. I don’t have a feel for the melody except as following rules.
Ohhh this is the one form i have been trying to work with..great job Frank..
Thank you!
Thank you for the clear explanation and examples. I would really like to try writing one but it is not going to happen for me tonight. I appreciate the reminder to stretch myself.
I hope to read what others share.
There is plenty of time. The link Grace started stays open for most of this month. Thanks for stopping by, Ali!
This is a tough dance
but Frank you have romance
enjoyed your two step
now lets see if I’m adept!
It is a tough dance. For many of us it is a new dance. I wonder what music went with those medieval lais.
Thanks for this further explanation of the Lai nouveau, Frank! Starting with the beginning/ending lines was a helpful trick. I agree with Beverly though, that it feels like it needs the last two syllables to properly end the poem – it’s like a song in the key of G not ending on the G note! I’ve done several lai’s but will attempt this Lai nouveau.
That’s an interesting way to describe it as a song that doesn’t end on the right note. There may be variations to this form that I am not familiar with. You might be right about those missing two syllables. I find it difficult to hear the melody, but then I have not written many of these.
Thanks Frank for inspiring me with Mysterious Things. That showed me the Lai form can be beautiful. I think your choice of words and the rhymes make it melodic. As French is syllable timed language I guess this doesnt sound so good in English. Have put mine on now after checking some of thise that have gone before and there are some great ones. https://navasolanature.wordpress.com/2019/05/11/a-magical-encounter-with-a-frog-and-snake/
Is this how to paste the URL seems long!
Yes, French does not have the accentual-syllabic sound of English.
You pasted it correctly in the Mister Linky. That is where people will likely see it.
I liked the peacefulness of your two poems near the pond.
Thanks, I was wondering if the linking system had changed. Glad the poems seemed peaceful but not sure so peaceful trying to write them!
I attempted this form, but I am so unhappy with the results that I will not be posting it on my blog. However, I’ll try to read as many as I can as I need some ideas on how it can be done successfully. This challenged me – and that was good.
I find it hard to do these as well. You raise a good point. One should only post on one’s blog what one feels is worth displaying to others. And regardless, challenges open new possibilities.
Thank you, Frank! Your explanation of the Lai Nouveau was just what I needed to wrap my head around the form. 🙂
I am glad it helped. I’m still trying to get a feel for this form.