In his poem “The Smiths as I understand them” Bob Hicok writes about special need kids
and in one passage he says “the boy whose eyes were lighthouses”
When I read this, it really hit me cause I so could see it.
He could’ve weakened the image by saying “the boy who had eyes like lighthouses” but he makes a strong statement here of how he sees him and gives not just a suggestion.
So today’s prompt is about using images and metaphors boldly so that they paint a strong picture. Don’t use them in an indirect suggestive way but make us see 1:1 what you have in mind.
In my poem I needed an image for perspective and I tried different things, asking myself
How does perspective looks for me?
How did it feel in that certain moment?
Is there an image that could describe it in a visible way?
Is there an image that is not a clichée already?
What I came up with is:
perspective is an owl with tiny wrinkles round her eyes and spanish accent
That is what it is to me – how it felt – for you it might be different but in the best case you can feel and see that image as well
Another part in Hicok’s poem is that the mother braided the daughter’s hair into an actual swan – this too is a strong image
It’s not just braided in a way that it looks LIKE a swan but it IS a swan
For me this makes a big difference
So that is today’s challenge – have fun on finding strong images and metaphors and don’t use the words like or as that probably could weaken them
–Claudia
darkangelwrites said:
Great reminder Claudia. I think I forget this too often.
claudia said:
i tend to forget as well… and reading bob’s poetry always reminds me…ha… the article is a note to self so to say…smiles
Sumana Roy said:
Hi Claudia…i caught the d’Verse train quite early today yay..it’s 1 am here …see you all tomorrow morning…
claudia said:
oh wow… sleep well sumana!!
claudia said:
wow it is quiet in the pub today… smiles
i have a sheet with just water color blobs next to me and just look at them with a fountain pen in hand and find all kind of animals – a penguin – a veeeeeeeeery long dog, an ostrich, elephant, nosebear and even a little village…smiles
ha – getting sleepy though as it’s already bed time for me over here….so… good night poets and i will be back tomorrow morning to read those that sneaked in while i was sleeping…smiles
Ella said:
I am working on mine now! I love this prompt-thanks Claudia~ It is thundering, but will try to get back on a post~ I will yes, attempt to sneak in. Sweet dreams,perhaps of owls and penguins writing poetry in a village~
http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com said:
Metaphor is mybête noir, I always go to pieces when trying to use it – and that is two metaphors already. I must be getting in the mood…. Thanks for the kick in the pants, Claudia (and that makes 3)
claudia said:
haha… can’t wait to read your poem viv
Gunn's Cabin Fever said:
Messed up with mr linky…sorry. great prompt, but I’ve had it with wordpress….!
claudia said:
no probs – fixed your link…
Gunn's Cabin Fever said:
Thanks very much…I don’t like making mess…
claudia said:
i actually do like making mess and because of this i don’t mind if others mess up things… so.. everything’s fine…smiles
charliezero1.wordpress.com said:
I’m going to have fun with this topic. 🙂 So, pretty much don’t use “LIKE” AND “AS”?
Kathy said:
…am on board a bit earlier than usual..have catching up to do from Tues…mid- day here – had this written for a possible prompt and guess
it works after all….smiles
Mary said:
Hi Claudia…. I really appreciated your prompt. I really appreciate a powerful metaphor, but often forget to use one. Your prompt caused me to think metaphorically, and that was a good thing. I do think metaphors are an excellent device to use in writing poetry. Thank you for the prompt and for your examples.
hypercryptical said:
Thanks for an excellent prompt Claudia, although not sure whether my effort fits the bill. Nevertheless, you have roused me from the inertia of (first ever in my lifetime) depression – and I thank you for that.
Kind regards
Anna :o] – not :o[ (at the moment!)
claudia said:
oh nice… i’m smiling back…smiles
Myrna said:
So, I worked on something for a while, but then realized it doesn’t really fit your prompt. I’ll save it for another day, once I edit a bit. I won’t be participating today, but still feel I learned something. I use as and like too much. Thanks for the lesson Claudia. It’s a great prompt.
claudia said:
oh i can’t wait to read it myrna
Gabriella said:
Thank you, Claudia for a prompt which made me think. Interestingly my first draft still had a ‘like’, which I then erased.
claudia said:
they tend to sneak in all the time when no one’s looking…ha…smiles
georgeplace2013 said:
I’m definitely trying this, Claudia. But, I don’t have time to read and comment so I’ll save it for a rainy day. This summer has been full of grandchildren and travel…perfect but crazy busy. I’ll buy ya’ll a drink when things settle down 🙂
claudia said:
smiles… sounds like a good time with travel and grandchildren… i could need a drink right now… has been a crazy busy day here as well
lynndiane said:
Great reminder, Claudia (and Bob!). Had to try my hand at this, though my theme may be a bit cliche…missed joining in on the “time” poetics so used that idea also here. Hope to read others later…gotta go do daily life (time trickles away online)!
claudia said:
ha – it’s not bad if you manage to combine two prompts..
rosross said:
This has been a week of tragic images.
claudia said:
oy…
claudia said:
ok… i’m waaaaayyyyy late but out on the trail to catch up now…
mishunderstood said:
Hope I’m not too late……but I took a whack at it. 🙂
Anthony Desmond said:
hey Claudia! ugh almost time for this party to be over so I’m gonna make some rounds and see who saved me some leftovers… haha
othermary said:
I gave it a try Claudia! Thanks for the prompt.